Becoming Her, Slowly

I fucked up, I learned a lot, I fell in love with myself a little more and somehow that feels like the perfect way to start 2026.

I know, I KNOW I’m late. So instead of closing the year with this being my final Substack of 2025, I decided to make it the opener.

How will I begin 2026? Am I giving you my dating roundup? Writing a heartfelt piece about all the changes I made? Telling you about my BIG plans for the year ahead?

The answer is yes… but also no. I’m giving you a little bit of all of it. And through that, I’m also giving you transparency about what I didn’t do last year, how I sometimes fucked it up, didn’t get it right, and had to learn as I went. But honestly, that’s what makes me Bangin Girl.

I started 2025 still off social media. This time last year, the mere thought of existing anywhere other than real life made my stomach hurt. Being offline forced me into new habits and hobbies. I started reading again, coloring in my coloring book, and learning how to sit in the silence of my new life even when that silence brought up dark or scary thoughts. I’ve said this so many times, but I truly didn’t expect my life to be where it is now. Still, I was determined to embrace it.

One of the biggest things that brought my spark back was my steady dating life with Mr. Mans (yes, he’s still here). After my breakup, I felt like I wasn’t “allowed” to date like I had to sit in my sadness longer or prove something to myself. Mr. Mans never made me feel that way.

At the same time, I struggled with the idea that I “needed” a man to get my spark back. But eventually I realized it wasn’t really about him it was about me. About rebuilding my confidence and reminding myself who the fuck I am. And no, Mr. Mans wasn’t the only date I had in 2025. I met some real characters. Some are still here, many are not. But if you know me, you know the relationship that meant the most to me after God, of course was the one with my girlfriends.

I’ve always called myself a “girls’ girl,” but in 2025 that phrase took on a whole new meaning. There were so many days I just needed a hug, a word of advice, or someone to sit with me while I figured my shit out. And without a shadow of a doubt, there was never a friend too far away.

But as loving as they were, they were honest with me, too. They helped me see things I already knew about myself but wasn’t ready to admit. One big realization? I had a habit of trying to make things relatable instead of just listening. I learned that sometimes being a good friend isn’t about making things “better” , it’s about simply showing up and holding space. That lesson changed the way I love my friends.

Another discovery and this one was hard to admit is that men are a huge distraction for me. Dating Mr. Mans worked because he filled space without taking up all my space. I needed (and still need) time to figure out how Chandler accomplishes what she needs to accomplish without letting a man become the main priority.

For the last six years, my life revolved around a man and I don’t regret that chapter at all. But this next act? It’s about me.

So what are my plans for this year? I want to connect more with you. I want to share more. I want to be way more open about the journey I’m still on. I want this to feel like my diary for the people who need to know they’re not alone in what they’re experiencing. Whether it’s dating (or not dating), friendships, starting over, or all the fun shit in between.

Let me be your new BFF in 2026. I have a lot more to say, and we have a lot more to yap about.

I can’t wait to see where this year takes us. 💋